What If The Moose Was Uppity?

"If Sarah Palin isn’t enough of a reason for you to get over whatever your problem is with Barack Obama, then you damn well had better pay attention. Anybody toting guns and stripping moose don’t care too much about what they do with Jews and blacks. So, you just think this through."

So says esteemed Florida Democrat Alcee Hastings. Now, I'll admit, I'm not much of a hunter, and I've never stripped a moose. I do however, know many hunters who I suppose could be described as "gun toting" and who certainly have stripped a deer at least. Contrary to Congressman Hastings' fears, I've never known any of them to harm a black person or a Jew, unless their descriptions of their hunting trips are completely eronious. I'm not sure how moose come into this, but I'm assuming that Congressman Hastings sees gun ownership as some sort of precursor to a racially motivated crime. I can assure the good Congressman that at least here in Missouri, there are many black men who tote guns and go hunting. And they, like their white counterparts, rarely if ever go on pogroms when they return.

Perhaps if Congressman Hastings is truly concerned about violent gun crimes, he should turn his attention elsewhere. It is a common misconception that most gun violence is motivated by the Alaskan moose hunting culture. In reality, most gun crimes are commited by blacks against other blacks in intercity urban areas. Many would be surprised that Sarah Palin and her moose feud have little if any significance to this problem. I would argue that much of this violence can be attributed to a violent ganster culture that has become a fixture of the urban black community. Perhaps Congressman Hastings believes Barry Obama can "organize" these communities into more productive pass time activities like say, moose hunting? (I kid, I kid)

In Florida, I would assume that aligators are responsible for the deaths of more blacks and Jews than Alaskan moose hunters. Regaldless Congressman, your fears, while honest mistakes, are batshit crazy. I think Governor Palin has bigger worries than organizing the next kristallnacht.