Wednesday, July 9, 2008

I May Have To "Trip Acid And Vote 4 McCain"

Found a great blog via Ann Coulter: Get Drunk And Vote 4 McCain. Now that I think about it, that's the only way I can vote for him. Come November, I'm going to have to get hammered, I mean real hammered. I may have to go on a three to sixteen day bing. I don't want to remember voting for him or the hysterical crying that I'm sure will ensue once I really come to grips with what I have done. Hell, I don't think I'll want to remember his administration if he's elected. I'm not sure what the shelf life of my liver is anymore. I'm not sure I can handle a 4 year bender.

Every freedom loving American who thinks they can hold their nose enough to vote for McCain (I'm still not sure on this by the way) because Obama will probably cede Canada to Iran should get together and take some shots of Wild Turkey, or say, pure absinthe, and do the deed. We're going to need each other's support, its as close to a suicide pact as I hope I ever come. Back in college, some of my buddies and I got together to party and watch the 2004 returns, but those were returns, we were celebrating (this is back in the day when we thought if Bush can just get a second term, he and Carl "permanent majority" Rove will unleash their secret conservative master plan, which turned out to be amnesty and deficit spending). This time we'll have to get drunk in the morning or several days earlier so we can vote and then curl up in the fetal position and sob.

Its going to be tough, but we'll just have to "lay back and think of America", so to speak. We'll use Everclear to try and drown the shame.


Eowyn said...

Ron Paul's still hanging in there, little enough chance though he's got.

He's got my write-in, absentee-ballot vote (on account of the fact that I will NOT use voting machines -- too easily hackable). I can't hold my nose. I, too, would have to get really stinkin' drunk, and I'd rather not.

No -- this time it's on principle, however quixotic it may be.

A Missourian said...

I think it was Thomas Sowell who said it best, "Only Barrack Obama can make me vote for John McCain." That is too say, I'll only vote for McCain if Obama sufficiently scares me. As I've posted before, every time I think Obama's done just that, McCain opens up his mouth about confiscating oil company profits or regulating speculation. I swore I would never vote for him a long time ago, but Obama is LBJ with a messiah complex, so I guess I'm still on the fence.